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#1 LOOKS: Let's get this out of the way first. I go for slender or petite women with pretty faces and who know how to dress. A couple of my previous girlfriends were models.

MORE DETAILS: You have a pretty face. You get complimented on your smile most likely because it accentuates your facial attractiveness. Other things you would have would be a clear complexion, suitable curves, fine hair, a toned body, maybe shapely legs and a shapely behind

No taller than 5'8"". And if you're 5'8"" you probably shouldn't be more than s movies so I would suggest you kindly move on to the next ad . . . oh, and don't be late for church either!!!

#7: SENSE OF HUMOR: oh my god, if I can't laugh with you in public or private, what's the point? Really.

MORE DETAILS: Tell you what, if this joke below doesn't make you at least smile then don't bother unless you have a better joke for me in your reply:

Osama bin Laden dies and goes to hell where he is greeted by St. Peter.

St. Peter tells him, ""Since you are such an evil
son of a bitch, you get a choice of what you want
to do down here but whomever you relieve gets a
second chance at life"". So he takes the Osama to
the first room and there is a man digging a hole.

Osama thinks, ""I'm not good at digging."" so he
asks, ""What else do you have""?

St. Peter takes him to another room where there
is a man chopping a tree down with endless trees
in sight. ""I'm not good at this either so what
else do you have""? He is taken to the next room
where Bill Clinton is tied down with Monica
giving him a blow job.

""Hey, this looks like it might really be fun"" he
says. ""This is what I want.""

""Are you sure?"" asks St. Peter.

""Yes"" says Osama.

This is definitely what I want"". so St. Peter
turns and says ""ok Monica, you can go now""

#8: GROWTH: If you feel you're perfect, don't contact me. Life is constant growing and change. We adjust and grow and take criticisms and do something good with them. If you're too scared to change and wonder why things aren't working in your life, you probably aren't open to growth and shouldn't contact me.

MORE DETAILS: have you ever read a book or taken a seminar to improve your relationships or improve yourself for a relationship?

#9: ACCOUNTABILITY: flakes and people who can't keep their word aren't going to go over well with me. I'm about authenticity and being my word . . . if you've got a lot of excuses in your life, kindly move on to the next ad.

MORE DETAILS: can someone depend on you to keep your word or are they in a relationship with a child?

#10: FUN: This means that I enjoy your company whether its activities, talking or you know what. And, for the record, I'm open to either a LTR or someone fun in the bedroom, but who does it responsibly (i.e. D&D free and I'm not talking Dungeons & Dragons, people).

#11: FEMININE: you've got to enjoy being a woman or a girly girl.

MORE DETAILS: If you don't care to ever wear makeup or dress up and prefer to walk around in sweats and never shave your legs or armpits, well, kindly move on to the next ad.

#12: AGE PREFERENCE: Typiy 25 to 37 but there's wiggle room.

MORE DETAILS: If you are truly exceptional, whether younger or older, I'm open to getting a reply from you.

#13: HEALTH CONSCIOUS: this is important.

MORE DETAILS: you either work out or watch what you eat or both. Maybe you're into yoga or some other activity. You aren't a chain smoker nor are you into taking drugs all the time. In other words, you don't abuse your body.

UPDATE: Lots of replies but damn if the many women replying aren't paying attention to what I'm seeking. At this point, I'll most likely only consider well-written ads with physical descriptions. You move to the top if you include pics. If you don't have a pic included there better be a good reason, too, and, if you ask for my pics first, I will immediately break contact with you.

One or two liners will be ignored b/c experience has shown these people are the least desirable. Lastly, pessimists, who seem to get a rise out of limiting themselves and others, want to know why this is being posted more than once: the answer is that almost all of the women reading this ad won't qualify. When I meet the right one, the postings will stop

BTW, there seems to be a lot of spam since I last used CL so put THOMAS CROWN in your header or I won't open your email."